I sat there, bored out of my mind, watching a very long movie filmed with subtitles and very little action. Something fucked up: the only scene 13 year old me enjoyed was when the cinema burns down and the "basterds" bust in and start slaughtering the audience. At the time, I thought The Dark Knight was the greatest movie ever made and, with its dark devilish aesthetic (and undeniably the aura that existed around Heath Ledger's last finished role) I thought that movie was the very definition of a serious, sophisticated movie. Basterds must have just been an anomaly.
Jump ahead a few months and I was at that age when I was finally allowed to stay up as late as I wanted and I ran out of films (or thought I did). I decided to check out Inglorious Basterds again on some online streaming service late one night - by the next day I'd ordered the Tarantino box-set. It's Pulp Fiction that I usually attribute to really becoming a film fan. It's weird actually, when you start watching serious films and not just blockbusters and teen movies (is there any way to write this and not sound snobbish?) it feels like a bubble bursting. It's so fucking cool. After, it feels like your part of some elite, underground brotherhood. I remember talking to friends and saying Pulp Fiction was my favorite movie and knowing none of them knew what I was talking about. If someone does know what your talking about - at that age - it means you've managed to spot a fellow nerd and you should quickly go out and nerd chat/procreate.
Even then I'm sure it took me over a year to realize that I could actually do this for a job (I can do something I enjoy for a job?) Before that, my ambitions to not have a normal job had lead to: over four years of (in the end) failed guitar lessons; multiple beginnings of - never finished - novels; and a forests worth of paper drawing artwork and level designs and fake front covers for video games I wanted to make. It's weird for me to think that at the time I had already decided which university I wanted to go to for game design, when I don't even play the things anymore.
A beginners guide to anyone wanting to become a film fan (at least the way I did): watch (or be a good member of society and BUY) whole box-sets of directors Quentin Tarantino, Paul Thomas Anderson, Wes Anderson, Coen Bros, Stanley Kubrick, Danny Boyle, Martin Scorsese, Stephen Spielberg, Robert Altman and David Fincher - and at least make a dent in the filmographies of Hitchcock and Kurosawa; tell everyone - especially parents and best friends - that your now a film fan and make that your "thing", manifested mostly by film posters on your walls, reading film critics books and a film collection so big it makes at least one parent wonder which bank you robbed in secret to pay for it all - and from then on expect lots of pseudo-intellectual film discussions and film related birthday presents; join lots of movie sites, IMDB is required, and start chatting on forums, all of your first posts being very serious, well thought out arguments on your detailed knowledge and respect on the art of film, which over the course of months and years will simply (and, sorry, inevitably) descend into numerous troll posts and nothing but off topic threads asking the other forum members things like when they first groped a girl so you feel better about yourself; and going through the course of being first excited about your new found hobby, then very ashamed and trying to hide it by taking photos of yourself doing weights and playing games of football, until eventually realizing your a film fan at heart, and it really is your "thing" and deciding its what you want to do for a fill time job.
I plan to go to film school - no particular one decided on just yet - next September. I'll admit there's arguments on both sides. Ask Google about the merits of film school and it will most likely tell you that it's a lot of money for stuff you can learn for free on the internet. On the other hand? College campuses look fun, my family says university is just one big party, its good to have on a CV that you did "something" in those years, and the TV show Fresh Meat has made me believe that my room mates will be a colourful clash of personalities I will slowly but surely become best-friends with over a barrage of mostly sex related adventures. It's pretty 50-50.
I won't pretend to be an expert but I do believe those who say you don't need film school to know what you're talking about - you just need the internet, lots of films and a camera. I will try and to put into words something of what I've learnt (none of which, I think, I've learnt from media class): if you're just starting your interest in film then you're probably thinking things still work on a points based scale: one way to do things is better than another way. Shoot a scene like this, not like that. Although the more time that's passed the more I've realized how lucid the clusterfuck of filmmaking really is. Want to be a screenwriter? You'll hear: write in three acts and make every scene a conflict. True, to an extent, but eventually that just goes into the background. Writing a script is more like a having an excited conversation - ideas bouncing off each other, beat beat beat. Keeping things moving, not letting threads just be ignored. I have believed for years - still believe now - that Stanley Kubrick is the greatest director ever (greatest? my personal favorite? There's a popular film fan argument) and I used to think it was because he held shots for long times, or because he didn't cut to reaction shots all the time - but now I realize there's something great about him that can't be quantified or even written about, or at least can't be written about like some sort of guide or how-to, could only be written about in poetic prose trying to capture the power of these movies, but never explain them
I want to make films. That's my thing. I don't know which university I'm going to go to, if I'm even going to take a film course. Confusing times. But I know that out of all my artistic aspirations (god I would hate an office job) this is the one that fits most. Mostly just because years on I still love films just as much. I have a friend who, during that obligatory chat about futures, said he was going to do a video game course in Uni. I know that he doesn't play video games much, hardly ever, and has just picked this because of good grades in IT. When he told me I just nodded and made that noise which signals agreement and didn't follow it up. So many people don't do the stuff they love doing - even smart people do stuff just because it fits or because they feel like they have to - but I've made a promise to myself that I won't do anything else.
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