A Million Ways to Die in the West (Seth Macfarlane, 2014)

If you like Family Guy then you probably haven't put much thought to the way it's constructed; if you don't then I'd gauge it's possible you hold the show up as a symbol of all that is inherently evil about modern comedy. I've always disliked FG, and for that reason mostly ignored MacFarlane's other output (a slew of very similar shows like The Cleveland Show and American Dad). During an episode of South Park, a show I prefer to an almost painful degree, during an episode where Cartman tries to get FG pulled off the air, Cartman himself has a monologue that explains a lot of why so many hate FG (maybe not for its content exactly but its whole style): "when I make jokes they are inherent to a story: deep, situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a point - not just one random, interchangeable joke after another". MacFarlane's comedy sacrifices all for the comedy. This might sound, on paper, like a noble effort, yet eventually it just becomes tiring; if everything is throwaway, built on nothing, then all the jokes become throwaway too. 

MacFarlane's first movie, Ted, possibly my favorite comedy of the last few years, managed to escape the normal MacFarlaness. I won't argue for it as a great work of storytelling but the story, of a man who can't leave the life of smoking dope and watching shitty movies with his teddy bear, was built on something - there was a story, of someone who hadn't grow up and was stuck in a sort of 'arrested development' of his youth back in the 80s. The jokes, too, were accordingly laced in 80s nostalgia and references. Macfarlane's second feature - and his first anything to feature himself beyond just a voice - A Million Ways to Die in the West, isn't really built on anything. It more closely resembles MacFarlane's TV work, and points to a career for MacFarlane with film after film accompanied by lines like fans will enjoy this one, although there is little here to change the mind of anyone with their mind already made about MacFarlane.  

A Million Ways, the only comedy that comes to mind that's been brave enough to try the western since Blazing Saddles, follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane), a sheep farmer who's cowardice in a gun battle looses him his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried). Then Anna (Charlize Theron) rides into town; obviously, this being a comedy where our hero needs to learn something, Stark doesn't realize the smoking hot sharp shooter that's right in front of him but instead simply uses Anna to try and get Louise back. Unfortunately, just as he's starting to realize Louise isn't the one, Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) the fastest hands in the west and all around bad guy, rides into town revealing he's Anna's husband. A test of bravery for our hero thus ensues. 

A Million Ways does have the look of a professional western, which may have worked, especially with just what a contrast the vulgar material here does, but MacFarlane doesn't have enough material to make it work. The production almost seems like overkill. One thing that needs mentioning is the majority of Neeson's scenes, most of which take place separate from the main plot, and are played by Neeson completely straight. His performance here is more intense than anything else he's done recently, and his early scenes are so serious that they feel like they'd fit perfectly into a serious western (a good one too), although this just makes it seem a little awkward when he's exposed to MacFarlane's brand of comedy. It feels like your always serious step-dad joining you and your immature teenage friends on a camping trip. 

The more squeamish gags (a block of ice crushing a cowboy into the ground, a mustached Neil Patrick Harris violently shitting into a hat) stick in the mind a lot longer than anything else; it feels like MacFarlane is almost fulfilling a quota for the amount of laughs so people are at least satisfied. Yet there is one truly brilliant section in the movie, the funniest few minutes, in which Stark is camping out with a group of Native Americans who give him some hallucinogenic drugs. It's a trippy few minutes filmed with every random occurrence it seems MacFarlane could come up with. The houses grow legs, the sheep start singing and Liam Neeson's head grows out of an eagle's mouth that Stark kicks in the balls. It feels like it has the justification that Eric Cartman wanted, and is a sign that MacFarlane can bring the belly laughs when he's on form. It's not enough to make A Million Ways a recommendable way to blow your time; it's more a showcase of why the movie would have probably worked better as a TV sketch or maybe even a Family Guy western special.